Thesis paper Miranda

In the beginning I did not expect much when I entered the class. The only expectations for this class were that I was going to be able to work on whatever ideas that I had then I would be able to show case my work at the end of the semester. In the beginning on the class I did want to work on Icons and Feminism but as I started to work I went with the flow and ended up on religion. I know that I will go back to the many ideas that I had for my icons and feminism, but I am glad that I worked with religion. I realized when I paint what I want that is usually a form of therapy for me; a way to verbalize what I am feeling and thinking about one subject, one day, or the past few months. I came to the realization that I don’t make art for other people not for them to learn form to be shocked, or to love/hate I make in for myself. Hoping that when people see it that they will understand what I was feeling when making and too see the point that I was making. I know that I will regret some of the things that I paint, say or do because my opinions might change or be altered, but, will never apologize for what I was feeling and thinking at that moment in time. With the way I get my ideas for my work I will always have an abundance of ideas. A person’s emotions, ideals, ethics, morals etc. only change and grow; they never go away so I will always have that to work with.

This class has helped me start to cope with not being a traditional art; meaning an artist that paints and draws. I have heard from more than one person “Ooo, this is what you do… I thought you were a painter?” I started to doubt my artistic ability, to doubt my ideas and the way I executed them. But, I continued to follow through with what felt right starting with my self portrait. Myself portrait when I made it, it was exactly how I in visualized it. After changing it I lost a bit of the personal connection I had with it. This is important to me to have a personal connection to my piece. When I make something that I really want to create it is like the idea is the consummation, the planning is the trimesters of the pregnancy and the creation/final piece is the birth. I have I guess a weird connection with the art I want to make then the art that I am told to make. With my creations it is like having a string extending from the center of me being to the piece and when I change something unwillingly it like that string has been cut and there is a numbing emptiness that, that piece of art is no longer mine and so I have no connection or love for it. With work that I was told to make I don’t really consider it mine though I know that I made it but the idea, still life or whatever was not from me, so I consider it someone else’s artwork (no connection).

My self portrait was like me standing up on a stage totally naked and reading out a book of my deepest thought and my most hidden secrets. I have had the weight on my syndrome for such a long on my mind that is was suffocating me. When I made it helped me cope and tell everyone though not verbally. Therapy that is what this work was. I loved using the found objects like the light bulbs, tubes and egg shells. I plan to use all them again.
My belief painting I knew right away what I wanted to do. When a person says belief I instantly think of religion. Religion is so very important to be. It seems to be the key to every person, every war, every law and every belief all lased with Religion. I respect anyone immensely who believes in anything. I know that I can’t as of right now there are too many problems that have to be worked out for me to be able to try to believe. It’s all so frustrating like mind boggling. So, I did my belief on my thoughts. The thought/feeling of smoother, controlled and even raped by religion/law. They both work hand in hand not only in the USA and it seems like in the world. Which I think shouldn’t be. But, I focused on the USA and how we are supposed to have separation of church and state which we don’t have. I just wanted paint and illustrate that both the Bible and the USA Bill of Right, Constitution etc. were all written by White upper to upper middle class men. When righting these words to be followed I highly doubt that they have everyone in mind. I doubt they had the poor, Hispanics, Women, Asians, Homosexuals, Africans, Americans of African descent, Italians etc. in mind when writing the law in the bible and our most cherished govern documents that we are now supposed to devotedly follow and believe in. I don’t think we as a people should praise and teach any of the hate and prejudice that is given off from any of them. I do think that there are good ideas that should be followed just because a person wants to be a good human being but, there are some things that just breeds hate.

Using my believe system as a cliff, I started to run then jumped. I looked into things such as the massive amount of priests that raped people. Thought of how rotten religion has gotten and how it at one point was probably meant to be pure and forgiving but now leaves a tainted and poison like affect on everyone who has been introduced to it.

In both my portrait and in my Belief system I used found objects such as egg shell and tubes. I will continue to use both in my future works. Both the eggshells and the tubes were to find, use and inexpensive to buy. I have always like doing 3D and instillation so; I know that I will continue with it. This semester I worked with manipulating different materials to fit my needs, which I know will be useful in the future.

There really hasn’t been anything this semester in critiques of my work that really stuck out to me. I know that I really need to work on expressing myself better and more professionally.

I have researched the Feminist Art Movement with Artist such as Judi Chicago who created the well known “Dinner Party” and also one of my favorites “The Linen Closet”. Another “feminist” artist that I have liked for years is Artemisia Gentileschi. I also have begun to research feminist artist Jennifer Linton, Nancy Spero and Faith Ringgold. I needed to look to see different artist just to know more artist and see different styles. I have a difficult time looking at other artists work not because I don’t like it or that I think that I am more talented. It is because I want my ideas for paintings, instillations or sculptures to be as pure as possible. Pure meaning from my mind, my emotions, my experience; I don’t want to look at someone else’s creation and rob it. I fear copying.

I have learned a tremendous amount on knowledge form the people we have met. Starting with Emil he taught me as an artist you have to take risks and use different types of materials. He opened my eyes so that I can see the usefulness in everything. I have learned a great deal this semester. I know that it is hard work being an artist and that fame and fortune will not happen overnight. It is a tossup between Emil Lucas and Don Voisone. Don made me realize that art school or school in general is not for me. But, he made me want to work even harder to stay in school because he thought art school was not for me and I do love a challenge. Emil did an amazing thing by telling us about how he creates some of his work with Fly larva. He really is saving me time and money. By just making me realize that everything is at my disposal. This in the long is more helpful than me realizing that art school is not for me.

My artwork is just my thoughts put out in 2D and 3D, making them tangible. Making my thought real eases me through life. When they are out of my head and can be seen in front of me I gone through the therapy needed to get me over the hump and on my way to be resolved.

For the pieces that are on display my artist statement is the feeling with which a person regards anything considered mean, vile, or worthless; disdain; scorn. Contempt, which is everything that I felt from the beginning when I thought of my belief to the middle when I was trying to let people know what I was thinking and what I will feel when I hear what people think of my thoughts.